In Her Embrace
“Breathe. Take deep breaths. You’re stressing your mind too much. ” She calmly comforted as she rubbed my back in soothing circles.
I continued to sob and breath harshly, trying to gain control from the spasms my body seems to gain. ” I can’t! It’s just too hard!” I gasped, trying to get the air I needed. But my body refused to listen in it’s panicked state. I kept coughing and crying as I choked up on my saliva.
But she showed no change of emotion. Just continued to draw calming circles on my back and smiled softly. I looked at her, my eyes wide open. I knew this trick of hers. And truth be told, it always worked.
Automatically my breathing started to slow down and continued it’s usual pace while she held my hand in comfort but let’s not forget the pride, that I was able to gain control by myself. That’s what she thinks but I know, it’s her powers that keeps me sane. That keeps me from giving up. But little does she realize, how much she means to me.
She giggled. “See! You did it! And I didn’t even help! You overcame your difficulties by yourself.” I smiled as I looked down and shook my head a little. See, I told you! But again, we all know the truth.
She held me close and stroked my luscious sparkling white hair which matched hers. “Darling, you have to learn to fight for yourself now. You can’t always depend on others. Especially me. We won’t always be there. You need to learn how to stand on your two little feet.”
I looked up in question. “What are you saying?” She laughed. “Nothing, my darling. You know how us girls like to ramble… Forget what I said for now. You will remember when the time comes. But you must sleep now.”
I looked away in a pout and folded arms. “I’m fine. And I’m not even tired. I don’t want to sleep. I want to be with you. Forever and ever. Don’t you wish for the same?” I asked with the cute tilt and innocent big eyes, a move of mine she could never resist.
She shook her head with a laugh and mussed my hair. “I promised you this before, didn’t I? Now if you want me to be right here tomorrow, go to sleep. I shall sing you the song you love so much. How is that?”
“You gotta deal!” I yelled cheerfully and scurried to the white hard bed that I have known all my life. Oh how, I hated this bed. Smelled so much like medicine. But the song mattered more. So like a good person that I was, I obeyed and waited eagerly for those sweet notes to hit my ears.
And that moment her voice grew from soft mewls to a blooming pitch of sweetness that my heart and brain ached to hear and record. I moaned at the soft magic that played on the strings of my love for this woman. It was a beauty that was to rare to find on this earth. So valuable that even imagination didn’t cover it’s worth.
And it was what threw me into a sweet lull as she played with my hair, massaging my scalp with her fingers. The next thing I felt was the soft kiss.
So I struggled to open my eyes. But I couldn’t.
“I love you.” Was the last thing I heard before everything faded into silence. Seems like my imagination also left me blank as I was left in a world of white.
A few moments later, my senses found me again. I could feel, hear but, sadly, I still felt paralyzed.
I know I could hear beeping and yelling. What was happening? I was curious to know.
I struggled and fought to cause some sort of movement. But it frustrates me that my body just won’t listen to me.
After putting up a great deal of effort, I manage to move a finger or two. Some success gives me hope and I try opening my eyes.
When I did, I look around in search of her. Only to find her picture of her on the wall of my private hospital room, adored with flowers and candles.
And that’s when everything came rushing to me. The last incident I had with her resulted to our physical state right now.
All because I wanted to step outside since I wanted to see the world which did not include the hospital walls. I had never known anything else other than this surroundings for eighteen years of my life and the eagerness bloomed like a floor in my heart as I begged her to let me experience something new.
When she finally agreed with a promise and we did our sightseeing together in great delight. It was the best night of my life. That was until we were returning. The moment where everything took a u-turn in my life.
Tears seeped out from my eyes as I crashed back into bed and silently screamed into my pillow, suffering over my newly found anguish as I pounded my frustration out.
After seconds of calming down, I still sobbed.
“Sister, why? You promised you will be here. Forever, remember?”